From my closet..

This is a long over-due " coming out of the closet" type of post. No , I am not talking about homosexuality here.

I am coming out with various forms of eve-teasing I have encountered, growing up and living in India.

My earliest "awareness" of eve-teasing was when I was 9 years old.I was in 5th standard.It was not exactly my experience- but a friend of mine had to endure it. Lets call her "A". Now, A was exceptionally tall and an early bloomer for her actual age.She was a very shy kid and was a studious one too. So, she was a teachers pet.One day she went to the library in our school. The librarian, must have been 25-30 years old, cornered her and tried to kiss her.She screamed her lungs out.It was such a commotion in school.She was immediately taken from our school and placed in an "all-girls" school ( where the staff was all women too). Of course , the librarian was fired immediately.
Now, the school I went to was a private school, one of the best in my town. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew everyone in the town. To top it all,the librarian was the Vice-Principal's brother in law! What arrogance he must have had- to even try this on a 9- year old kid!Our school was very well-known for good management and kid-friendly environment.Needless to say, this episode shook the parents' sense of safety and jolted them out of their reverie.

I remember another teacher who used to teach computer science when I was on class 6. He used to pinch girls on their tummies. I did not understand the inappropriateness in his actions- but I definitely felt uneasy and used to avoid him when I could.I remember trying to not go to the computer lab, if he was around . I think all my friends felt the same too.

The real shocker came when I was 16 years old. I used to go to a Physics tuition class, which was just 2 streets away from my house. We used to live in a very safe neighbourhood where my parents knew everyone in the colony and all kids played and grew up together.My parents used to send our house sitter "akka" to fetch me, even though the tuition class was very close by. This was because they were paranoid for my safety and the tuition class ended after 8 pm.Now, this was the age when I was beginning to rebel and feel like an adult and all that. My friends used to tease me ,because I had an escort home everyday. So, I fought with my parents and declared that I was old enough to walk a few yards home.
One day, when I was walking home, i saw a shady figure on a bicycle behind me.I was feeling strangely scared and started walking as fast as I could.This idiot came form behind me , pushed me to the floor and fell over me and started to feel all over me. I started to scream like there was no tomorrow and kicked him off me. I then beat him and poked him with my umbrella . By then , all the neighbours had come out. This idiot ran for his life and left a screaming me running after him. Some of the neighbours stopped me and took me home. They told my parents that someone had tried to rob my gold chain!It was a small town and people did not like to think that one of their own kids was not safe on their streets. Me, being the fiery one, shouted at them and told my dad that a man had fell over me and tried to assault me.My dad and my uncle ( who works in the army and was visiting) were so furious-- they dragged me into the car and drove all around the neighbourhood, till we found that skunk!My uncle then took me home and I hear that the idiot got the beating of his life!!!!
This was just the beginning - I had a whole lifetime of guarding myself from these stinking wolves!

One time, I was walking with two girls on commercial street in Bangalore.Now, this was broad daylight and a busy road. We were happily walking towards some shopping center.An idiot walks towards us and flashes "his goods" as he passes by us.What is with these men? Why do they derive pleasure from making women uncomfortable???

When I was in college, I used to travel on local buses to go home.Those were absolutely the worst. I always had a safety pin in my hand and I used to use it against any creature that tried to rub itself on me. Yes- according to me these are only fit to be creatures, not even animals.We girls always had guy friends who would make a protective circle around us, to protect us form these wolves.

There are so many stories like this- too many for a single post.I am appalled at the guts and the foolishness that some of these people have!I have travelled everywhere on my own- to Israel, Europe , China and I live in a foreign country( US).I went to India 6 months ago and my parents had to pick me up from Chennai and take me to our home town.We had booked a train - mind you, it was a first class compartment. My parents and I settled down in our respective births after dinner. At around 2 or 3 am , I woke up with an uneasy feeling. Sure enough, a leech sitting in the opposite birth was ogling at me and staring openly.I was shocked.I tried to close my eyes. I couldn't go to sleep- I was afraid.I did not want to wake up my parents and startle them. So I waited patiently for the idiot to realize that he is making me uncomfortable.Finally, after an hour,I woke my dad up. My dad wanted to confirm this, so made me sleep in his birth and he switched to my birth.Daddy stayed awake for sometime making sure that the creep would not move.I asked daddy to go to sleep, telling him that it was OK now.Now, the idiot shifted his position, so that he could see me in my new birth.This , as soon as dad fell asleep.I did not want to disturb dad again, so I pulled my blanket to cover my face and tried to sleep. My dad, being the protective father, woke up after sometime and asked me if I was OK. I told him that the creep had shifted position .Dad was hopping mad. By this time though, our destination was only 30 min away.So I tried to pacify dad and asked to calm down- because we did not have any proof to make a complaint and he cannot be held for just looking.
After all this, the creep has the guts to make conversation with my dad - my dad gave him the stare of the century and asked him to mind his business.
After having travelled all over the world, it feels so bad to feels cared so close to home.What rights did the idiot have to spoil my sleep and my dad's? Why did he have to upset me on my first day back in home country?

Will all this ever change?Will men stop viewing women as just objects of attraction?If I had to endure all this, even though I grew up in a very protective environment, what about all the street kids who are left on their own?

Will my India become the safest place ?

I fear for my sister, for my future daughter, for all the little girls - I hope they are all safe . I hope they can enjoy life and ignore these creatures!


This post is inspired by the Blank Noise Project. Come on all you women, this is just the first step.