random ramblings...

Cant think of a nice title.. because I don't have anything interesting to blog about.. :)
When I first started blogging, I was full of ideas( wait- i forgot that you guys could read my archives.. O well, indulge me ) and I used to churn out 3-4 posts a month. Recently, it became one post a month. I haven't blogged in over a month now.Why? I don't know.. I don't find anything blog worthy..

Anyways, I forced myself to write something today- hence the rambling..

OK- here is a memory that hit me quiet strongly yesterday. I came to the US almost 7 years ago for my MS.Until then I lead a very very sheltered life- if I couldn't go home for the weekend, from my hostel, I would cry.I would cry for almost every small thing.All my friends were really surprised that I made plans to study in the US. They were waiting to see how I would manage not coming home for years, not months or weeks :). My HD( then best friend), gave me a long talk- about how I was 21 years old and should not show my emotions to my parents, because they were already worried about sending their little girl off to an unknown place. He told me that I should at least give them a pleasant memory of the last time they see me , before they send me off.
That talk moved me a lot- I swore to myself ( and to him( that no matter what- I WILL NOT CRY in the airport.Of course, I wept my heart out when we left from my town 2 days before my flight, to go to Chennai.In my father's side of the family, I am the eldest granddaughter and the first person to leave the country. Mom's family has too many people in the US already.All my father's siblings and their families had come to Chennai to send me off- I had about 20 people at the airport !

When the moment of truth came, I forced myself to forget the significance and just smile! It actually worked!! Everyone was surprised that I did not cry.My friends/family/parents - all of them had come prepared for the bawl fest :). Yes- I was sad.. but I worked hard at not crying. I did not even relent when my mom and dad teared up a little bit.

Anyways- it was all so filmi- I remember this frame very clearly.My friend S (who was also joining the same univ as me) and I rode up the elevator in the Chennai airport to get to the second floor where the gates are present. I remember my parents teary eyed faces and my sister trying to look undisturbed. I just froze those 3 faces in my mind for ever.I also remember glancing at HD( who had also come with a couple of friends to send us off) and he gave me a thumbs up! I knew that thumbs up was for both my future and for successfully keeping my word :)

I was strong all the way to my small university town.We were given temp accommodation at a senior's apartment. I woke up the next morning and it all came pouring out. I could not believe that I had left my parents, my family , my friends and traveled across the globe to a strangers house!Life looked so scary and bleak!!
As if they had sensed it, my parents called up just then- speaking to them cheered me up a bit.

Anyways- I still have that one airport frame frozen in my memory!!